The Art of Giving Up

"I Can't"
I hear those two little words on a daily basis from the people in my day to day life and from people online. It is a favorite phrase among the fibro community and has become a favorite among several of the people that I care deeply for. How many of you use those two words on a weekly or even daily basis?

"I Can't"
Usually meant to convey to someone else that you really don't want to because if you did want to, you would. It's a cop out without having to say, "I don't want to." Do you want to lose weight?  'I can't' Do you want to open the business you have always dreamt of? 'I can't' Do you want to take a walk? 'I Can't' Clean your house? Chase your dreams? Change your life? 'I Can't' 'I Can't' 'I Can't'

"I Can't"
Do you realize just how powerful those two little words are? When you use them in reference to yourself, you are telling yourself quite convincingly, that you are not good enough. You are lowering your own self worth by teaching yourself to be less than what you are capable of achieving. I have heard people say that they are not smart enough, that they 'can't' learn. There is more than one way to learn to do what ever it is that you want to do. Maybe you learn best by doing instead of reading. Maybe you need someone to show you how to do something. You might learn best on your own by reading or following written directions. There are so many ways to learn how to reach your goals. You just have to find what way works the best for you.

"You Can't"
Have you stood there and allowed someone to tell you that you can't do what you want to do with your life? Did you hear those words so many times that you started to believe them? It's time to change your mind about yourself. You should never allow another person, no matter who they are or how much you trust them, to tell you that you can't reach your goals.
I have had many people in my life tell me that I couldn't do something. It only made me mad. I would deliberately do the exact thing that I was told I couldn't, just to show them that I can too! Watch me! I learned to knit, crochet, write, cook, sculpt, make jewelry, pyrography, sew, embroider, paint, lost fifty-five pounds, reversed heart disease and found ways to be more stubborn than fibro all because someone told me that I couldn't do it. My Doctors said that I could no longer earn a living because I am disabled. Paleease! Label me the 'D' word if you want to. Go ahead and put it in my chart but I'm still earning a living. Don't be stupid enough to tell me that I can't because I am just redneck enough to look you in the eye and say, "Oh ya? Watch this!"

'Try'
Get rid of the two words that poison your mind and lower your self esteem and replace them with 'I'll Try'. It doesn't matter if you fail. Thomas Edison failed but he kept trying until he succeeded. If he had not tried anyway when someone told him that he couldn't invent the light bulb, we would all be sitting in the dark.
We all fail. It is what we do after that failure that defines us. Will you give up and give in to 'I Can't' or will you get back up and find a different path to your goal?

Excuses! Excuses!
Excuses drive me nuts! An excuse is another cop out. It is also a lie that you tell yourself and others so you won't be expected to put forth the effort to achieve your dreams. Having a chronic illness is no excuse for not getting off the couch. It is not an excuse to give up on life and wait to die. Being insecure is also no excuse. You will never help your pain or your self esteem by not even trying to live the life that you dream of. Insecurities can be conquered by proving to yourself that you actually can do the very thing you have convinced yourself that you can't do. Pain diminishes when you teach your body that movement is your friend. Self esteem soars when you are actively moving toward your goals instead of standing still and when you accomplish what you set out to do, you get to gloat just a little bit to those who said 'you can't'. I know because I have done it. So can you.

You can start right now. Write down your goal. It can be big or small, just write it down. Now, break it down into the steps that you will need to take to reach that goal. If you aren't sure of what steps to take, ask for help from someone who does know. By breaking your goals down into smaller tasks, you not only do not become over whelmed, but you get to celebrate the small victories along the way and with each victory you begin to realize that you really are doing the very thing that you thought you couldn't do! Look at you!

You get the point now. If you give up on you, so will everyone around you. You are the only person who can take control of your life. You can take control of your health. You can take control of your dreams. You can reach every goal that you set, as long as you kick those two words out of your head and never speak them again. You can and when you really want your life to change for the better, you will.