First I would like to say, Welcome to those in Malaysia and Germany who have been reading my little blog! Thank you! I would like to get to know my readers so please feel free to leave comments at the bottom of the posts. I look forward to getting to know you!
Today is my 41st Birthday. I know that there are both men and women who mourn a little at the loss of their youth with each new birthday but I am not one of those people. I am still young and though my body does not always cooperate with me, my mind is eternally young and I have a feeling it always will be. I think that age is just a number. This year my number is 41!
My youngest daughter makes homemade pancakes every year on my birthday. They are absolutely awful! She doesn't want to use the instant pancake mix. She prefers to make them from scratch. She starts with flour and baking powder and then she adds whatever spices smell good to her and which ever spices sound exotic to her then she mixes it all up and cooks them on the outside and leaves them soggy on the inside. This year I think she even put a little bit of soy sauce in them. I have no idea what she used to turn them pink because I am out of food coloring -and that gave me pause, but I ate them with a smile on my face and hoped I would not get sick. :)
She watches me the entire time I am eating to see if I am really enjoying the pancakes and she asks often if they are good. I have learned over the years to just smile really big and pretend that I am eating a gourmet meal because I know that my little girl put her heart and soul into those pancakes and I never want to hurt her feelings when I understand how much love went in to that birthday breakfast. Oh, how I love that little girl!
This is a year of change for me. My children are all most grown and soon they will be stepping out into the world. My job as a full time Mama is all most done. It is time for me to chase down my dreams. I have put them off for two decades so that I could fully devote myself to my husband and children but now it is my turn.
Change does not come easy. I have been purging my life of those people who suck up all of my time. There are those who want me to solve their problems and those who use me for whatever they can get from me. Then there are those who have a constant need for drama and strife in their lives and want to spend hours on end telling me all about it. Those people take up the time that I could be using to chase down my dreams. When I spend all of my time helping these people, I have no time for myself.
I have been actively evaluating my relationships and ending those relationships that are not healthy. It is a difficult process but I feel it really needs to be done if I am to make room for myself in my own life. I need to simplify my world. This is the first step to accomplishing that.
I have been talking to an agent about representing me and my work. We get along very well and seem to be on the same page as far as what I want from my career and what I am and am not willing to do. It seems to be moving right along but we are only talking right now so I don't want to get my hopes up too high. Maybe I will be a best selling author. Maybe I won't, but just finishing the first book and sending it out into the world is a huge win for me. I don't need to be a millionaire to be happy but I do need to finish what I started and continue to do the things that I love to do but have put off for so many years.
I have been waiting for this day to come. It is my new beginning. I know which path to take and I am finally free to walk that path. It's an exciting time in my life! Honestly, I'm not sure who is more excited, me or my husband! He has been asking me to read him each new chapter. He's a little pushy about it sometimes but he says, "I just want to know what happens next." Because of that, I find that I write more so he can have his bed time chapter. I don't want to disappoint him. He's a great motivator.
I know what I am going to do with my new year. What are you going to do? Are you going to reach for a new goal? Chase down a long held dream? I hope that you find what you love and go get it. Your year is going to be exactly what you make of it. Make it good!
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