Exquisitely Stupid

Appalled. Shocked. Disappointed.
Those are pretty good words to describe my day today.
I have spent months listening to and offering advice to someone who needed a friend. I took time out of most every single day, to the point of putting off getting done important things in my own life to listen to this person. Same problems, different day for months.
I thought we were making some headway. I really thought this person was going to start taking responsibility for her own decisions and start on the road to a better, less drama filled life. Boy was I wrong!
I logged on to facebook this morning and the first thing that was on my homepage was that this person had started a new page. A place to rant and rage against anyone who has ever hurt you. It was a public page where she had decided to lay out all of  the reasons that she felt someone had wronged her - in detail - and invited others to do the same. I was shocked! Who does that?
So yes, I said something about it after reading it.
I thought about all of the time I have wasted these past months and that really irritated me. That along with the immaturity level on that page. I finally realised that you really can't help anyone until they are ready to help themself. Even then, they have to do the work. You can offer advice when someone asks but I now understand that it is unwise to allow someone to take up that amount of your time with no indication that they are doing anything to help themself.
I have said this before but I'm going to say it again....
You are the only person who is responsible for your life. You have a choice in every little thing. When you say 'I did this because YOU made me angry.' That is manipulation. You chose to react in anger. You choose to be offended, happy, sad, angry...any emotion. You choose your actions. You choose to take responsibility for your life and the course you are taking. No one made you do anything. It isn't your parents' fault if you choose to behave badly. Many, many people had awful childhoods and just as many people chose to rise above rather continue to live in a constant state of drama.
Likewise, if a spouse or any other person in your life has hurt you, you get to choose how to handle that situation. Trying to publicly humiliate someone is never going to fix a problem. It will only make things infinitely worse. Alienating the people that you want to work things out with is just the wrong way to go.
At some point in life, we all have to grow up. Part of growing up means taking responsibility for YOU. No one else is going to do it and when you refuse to own the things that you say and do, eventually, you will have no one left to complain to or about.
I know that people don't like to hear that they are the only ones who have to bear the responsibility for their own actions but it is the truth. I am responsible for what I think, feel, say and do. If I make a mistake or behave badly, I am responsible for that too. It is up to me to swallow my pride and make it right.
My life is my responsibility. Knowing that empowers me to build a future that I can be happy in and proud of. Once I understood that, I had some changing to do. It wasn't easy. At times it was even painful, but owning my actions and mistakes and learning from them has made me a better person.
On the other hand, you can choose to act like a spoiled child and blame everyone around you for hurting you, for your life not going in the direction that you wanted, for not providing the things that you want in your life. And do you know what is going to happen? Nothing.
Choosing to live in immaturity, blaming everyone except yourself, making "I can't" your favorite words - is going to get you nothing but the same life you are unhappy with - and that is your choice too.
I believe that each of us deserves to be happy and satisfied in our lives but we have to choose it and work toward it. Getting over ourselves is part of it. Stop tripping over the baggage. Unpack and deal with those things.
Put the work in. You are worth doing whatever it takes to reach your happy and you are the only one who can get you there.
Happiness IS a choice, my friends. Choose it!