Sometimes facebook gets on my nerves. Some days, the site as a whole, seems like a giant cesspool. It is usually on especially bad pain days -like this entire week- that I purposely spend more time away from social media. It's the dishonesty that gets me. Every time.
This morning, I knew better than to check the site but I did anyway. In my feed were three ads from separate companies promising that if you just empty your wallet to try their product, you would be cured of fibro. Each ad had hundreds of comments. Most were from people who are willing to do anything to be 'cured' of fibro. A few were from people who knew better and were attempting to warn the desperate that there is no cure. But believe me, when you are in agony on a daily basis and there is no cure in sight, you will do all most any thing, no matter how absurd, to rid yourself of the pain. What's more, these companies know it. It's sickening really.
Winter is hard on those with FM but then again, so is Spring if you live in tornado alley, which I do. What do you do? You have to have a plan in place to fight back but even the best laid plans sometimes falter. With so much misinformation out there, I am noticing that most people with FM never bother to go read the science behind what is happening to them. They are simply praying for a cure. Or hoping that this new medicine or that new medicine will give them their old life back if they can just get through the side effects.
Most people want a 'right now' solution. The truth is, regaining a small part of your active life is going to take time and dedication. You have to start moving no matter how much it hurts or how completely it wipes you out. You have to start sometime. Why not now? Get it over with. In the beginning it sucks! Believe me, I know, but once you get started you find that you are doing more each day until you can get through most days with less fatigue and more energy.
Start eating right. You know exactly what I mean by that too. More fruit and vegetables, lean proteins and knock it off with the carbs, the sugar, the processed foods, the chips and sodas. McDonald's is not your friend. Break up with fast food and start eating real food. You are going to get out of your body what you put into it. Especially with FM. You want to eat that candy bar? That's okay. As long as you are prepared to feel like crap later. Sugar causes inflammation. Inflammation causes more pain. Your body fighting that extra pain causes fatigue. Still want that candy bar?
Be prepared though, even with the perfect diet, exercise program and as much R.E.M. sleep as your fibro body will allow, you're still going to hurt. Weather changes, stress, hormonal changes, medication changes, even catching a cold can bring the pain. How will you react to it?
I have friends with FM who deal with it by encouraging others. Some post happy memes or positive affirmations. I'll be honest, when I am in a huge amount of pain, like right now, those things get on my very last nerve. I am not a super positive person when over whelmed by pain. I'm not going to pretend otherwise. I tend to keep to myself and remind myself that even though this moment has the potential to drag me to a dark place, if I hold on, it will pass because the worst of it always does.
This spring I am building a huge greenhouse on our property. Beside it will be a massive garden. I intend to have someone knock down another two acres of scrub so I can plant an orchard. This is my way of healing myself. If I grow it, then I know where it came from. I know that I am not eating pesticides or GMO's because my seeds are heirloom. Spending my days outside moving will do more good for this chronic body than any pill a doctor could give me. I have spoken with others in my shoes who have done this very thing and you know what? They are experiencing periods of remission. One lady told me that it seems like the longer she lives this way, the longer the periods of remission last. Her latest stretch of living pain free was seven months. Then Winter came and with it pain but not as severe as the year before.
Our bodies were built to heal IF we give them what they need to fight. I'm still in the fight. I'm in a horribly painful place at the moment but I have something to look forward to and that is what I want you to think about. We all know how high the suicide rate in FM patients is. The reason that I even wrote that last sentence is because of the utter desperation that I read in my feed this morning. A lot of people are barely hanging on while many more are white knuckling it to get through each moment. I'm in that place too. Hanging on by my fingernails. But damn it, hang on! Find something to look forward to. If, like me, it's a project in the Spring, then you have to hold on to see it through. Make a plan. Then make it bigger. It needs to be something that excites you. Even if you think that your body would not allow you to do whatever your plan is right now, plan it anyway. Then work on your body until it isn't such a struggle to reach your goal. Don't let anyone give you permission to give up. That kind of permission abounds in FM communities and it will harm you in ways that you may not recover from.
I am not going to tell you that I am little Miss Polly Perfect when it comes to handling this extremely complicated disease. I am not going to tell you that I have all of the answers or even that I have some of them. I will tell you what works for me and what doesn't and I will tell you where to go to start taking your life back. One of my friends is one of those encouragers that I was talking about. The reason she is my friend is because she is not fake. She won't ask you to do something that she isn't all ready doing herself. She's paddling this FM boat too and what's more, she is writing a book on how to handle FM in a common sense, take your life back way, that you will see on the best seller list when she is finished with it. She has the same struggles as the rest of us. She's just handling them with more class than I am at the moment. :)
If you are not in the 'I'm sick of facebook' mood that I am in, look up The Fibromyalgia Five Minute Fitness Challenge. It's five minutes of gentle movement to get you started. My friend admins the page. Her name is Tanya. If you can't handle five, then start with three minutes. You have to start taking back the pieces of your life at some point. Now seems like as good a time as any.
While you go look up the page, I am going to push through and cook dinner for the kids. Hopefully, the pain will die down and I'll be in a better mood tomorrow. That's something else you need to know. You are allowed to have a bad day. You're even allowed to have two. Feel what you're feeling. Ask yourself why you are feeling that way and what you can do to help yourself. Don't be embarrassed to reach out. There are plenty of us who 'get it'. Send me a friend request or go to someone who understands what you are dealing with. You are not in this alone, though most days it feels alone. I'm here. I have a group of very smart, caring women, all with FM who would be there for you too. If you need to reach out your hand, one or all of us will grab it and pull you up.
Okay. Now, I'm taking my grumpy self to the kitchen. I love you.
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