I am amazed that anyone is still reading this blog. I owe you an apology. I have been inconsistent in keeping up with it for quite a while now. Life has just been so....chaotic is a really great word.
Between fighting with Fibro, CMP and CFS, I usually have around twenty projects going at any given time but I have also had a great many major life changes and epiphanies hit me one right after another. I have been waiting for things to slow down but since they never do, I decided that making the time to be here with you has to be a priority.
This was the first year that I participated in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). I finished the word count challenge but not the book. November is not the ideal time to sit down and write an entire novel but I'm over fifty thousand words in, so it will keep until after Christmas.
Everyone makes New Year Resolutions. I'm not going to do that. I mean, really, who keeps those things anyway? I have goals that I am working toward but I can't say that one has to be done by this date or that date. I intend to make some major changes that will surprise some people but others will just be relieved that I finally got on with it.
I do want my gym membership back. I loved the gym. Rejoining is one of my goals. Finishing the book is another. Honestly though, just finding that place where I am more happy than unhappy is my main goal. If that means shedding certain people from my world then that is what will have to happen. I feel so drained by the toxic people around me. Their constant negativity helps to keep me in a state of flare that I can not escape as long as they are a part of my day to day life.
Something that I have been doing for a while now -and excites me to no end - is I have been taking the Bible back to it's original translation and finding out what it meant when it was written. Even in the King James version, there are some bad translations. It wasn't intentional. We're human. It happens. But being able to read it the way it was meant to be read has been a real eye opener....and has caused me to resent the hell out of the church. If you ever read it, you'll understand why. I'm working on that too. I'm human. Aggravation and anger are understandable, and forgivable.
Like most of the church, I trusted that the various preachers in my journey knew what they were talking about. They didn't. So then I got mad at myself for doing what I know better than to do -trusting the word of other people without checking the facts. My fault. I'm a little ticked off that lies are being taught in church...that's a lie...I'm straight up pissed off about the lies being taught in church but isn't it my own fault for not checking it out? Yup! I'm correcting it in my own life now and I'm enjoying the heck out of it! I'm such a curious person by nature, I LOVE learning. Love it! I like real. I like authentic. We live in such a fake world, it's refreshing to peal back the layers and find what is real.
I don't know where this next year will take me. I do know that major changes are on the way. This is a short life. Far too short to live it in a way that doesn't bring you happiness. I'm chasing my happy. There will be dark days. There always are, but I'm ready for them. Now, when this flu goes away, I'll be up and running again. I will take you with me. If you have stuck with me this far, then anything I am going to do won't surprise you a bit. I love you for that.
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