Yesterday did not go as planned. I was going to start my meal planning and catch up on laundry. I actually have a whole list of things that need my attention. Once again, I was reminded of how little control I have in the big scheme of things. I woke up with a migraine and though I took the medicine as soon as I realized that it was more than a run of the mill headache, I went down hill fast. By late afternoon my head felt like a lead weight and I had no choice but to give in and go lay down. Luckily for me, my son decided to cook dinner so I could rest.
Today didn't go much smoother. My husband took the day off to go get his driver license renewed and to handle some other business that he had put off and he decided, as he often does, that I could just drop my plans and go help him handle his business. The thing is, his business has nothing to do with me and there was absolutely nothing for me to do except sit and wait for him to finish handling his business. Before you start thinking, 'Aaaww! He just wanted to spend some time with you!' There was no time for him to spend with me. His attention was needed elsewhere, which left me sitting in waiting rooms, thinking about all of the things that I would need to rush to do when we finally got back home.
It is possible that he just liked the idea of my being there but I don't like to be put behind schedule. One day with a migraine and one day sitting in various waiting rooms will put me a week behind schedule in the end. What husbands sometimes have a problem understanding is that Wives and Mothers do not get the luxury of taking a couple of days off without consequence. Two days off means four loads of laundry instead of two. It means I will be up later than I wanted to be so that I can sweep and mop the floors when everyone else is in bed. Something I normally do when everyone is gone during the day so I won't have foot prints on my floors before they are dry.
It also means that dinner gets started later and homework time is more hectic because I am trying to cook while still paying attention to my daughter and her homework needs. It means that I will be awake until the small hours of the morning to catch up on the articles that I have been assigned to write, because I did not work the past two days. But it also means that with fibro, I will pay for all of that sitting while I am rushing to catch up on all of my other work. I feel a heavy sigh coming on.
I have two ways that I can look at this whole situation; aggravated as a wet cat that I have been put so far behind or just happy that my husband, for whatever reason, wanted me to come along with him. For now, I will choose the latter but make no mistake, I know me well enough to know that by 2a.m., I'll be cussing under my breath just a little. Tomorrow morning I will more than likely sleep in for a few extra hours because with all of the sitting and extra activity tonight, along with the falling temperatures, if I don't rest when I can, the fibro fairy will be sure to show up and demand more of a payment than I am willing to give her.
Life doesn't always happen the way we plan it out on our lists. With a chronic illness of any kind, that can mean trouble in your body if you are not prepared to change what you are used to doing to combat the extra pain. For me, it means that I will need to be doubly sure that I am hydrated and I will need to stop and do some gentle stretching every hour or so to keep the stiffness at bay. It also means that I need to change my mindset. If I focus on how irritated I am that I am so far behind, those negative thoughts will translate into amplified pain levels, which will make tonight miserable. Instead, I will deliberately focus on what I enjoy about each task and how happy I will be when everything is all caught up and I can sleep in. When I do wake up, I will start the day with a clean slate. The chores will be caught up, the house will be clean and my articles will have been written and turned in. That is something to look forward to.
Whatever each new day throws at you, you have a choice in how you handle it. You can choose to deal with things grudgingly and full of irritation or you can choose to focus on one thing in each task that really isn't so bad and also the fact that you will get through this too. Now, I have a few dozen things to go 'get through'. May your days run smoothly!
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