Sometimes facebook gets on my nerves. Some days, the site as a whole, seems like a giant cesspool. It is usually on especially bad pain days -like this entire week- that I purposely spend more time away from social media. It's the dishonesty that gets me. Every time.
This morning, I knew better than to check the site but I did anyway. In my feed were three ads from separate companies promising that if you just empty your wallet to try their product, you would be cured of fibro. Each ad had hundreds of comments. Most were from people who are willing to do anything to be 'cured' of fibro. A few were from people who knew better and were attempting to warn the desperate that there is no cure. But believe me, when you are in agony on a daily basis and there is no cure in sight, you will do all most any thing, no matter how absurd, to rid yourself of the pain. What's more, these companies know it. It's sickening really.
Winter is hard on those with FM but then again, so is Spring if you live in tornado alley, which I do. What do you do? You have to have a plan in place to fight back but even the best laid plans sometimes falter. With so much misinformation out there, I am noticing that most people with FM never bother to go read the science behind what is happening to them. They are simply praying for a cure. Or hoping that this new medicine or that new medicine will give them their old life back if they can just get through the side effects.
Most people want a 'right now' solution. The truth is, regaining a small part of your active life is going to take time and dedication. You have to start moving no matter how much it hurts or how completely it wipes you out. You have to start sometime. Why not now? Get it over with. In the beginning it sucks! Believe me, I know, but once you get started you find that you are doing more each day until you can get through most days with less fatigue and more energy.
Start eating right. You know exactly what I mean by that too. More fruit and vegetables, lean proteins and knock it off with the carbs, the sugar, the processed foods, the chips and sodas. McDonald's is not your friend. Break up with fast food and start eating real food. You are going to get out of your body what you put into it. Especially with FM. You want to eat that candy bar? That's okay. As long as you are prepared to feel like crap later. Sugar causes inflammation. Inflammation causes more pain. Your body fighting that extra pain causes fatigue. Still want that candy bar?
Be prepared though, even with the perfect diet, exercise program and as much R.E.M. sleep as your fibro body will allow, you're still going to hurt. Weather changes, stress, hormonal changes, medication changes, even catching a cold can bring the pain. How will you react to it?
I have friends with FM who deal with it by encouraging others. Some post happy memes or positive affirmations. I'll be honest, when I am in a huge amount of pain, like right now, those things get on my very last nerve. I am not a super positive person when over whelmed by pain. I'm not going to pretend otherwise. I tend to keep to myself and remind myself that even though this moment has the potential to drag me to a dark place, if I hold on, it will pass because the worst of it always does.
This spring I am building a huge greenhouse on our property. Beside it will be a massive garden. I intend to have someone knock down another two acres of scrub so I can plant an orchard. This is my way of healing myself. If I grow it, then I know where it came from. I know that I am not eating pesticides or GMO's because my seeds are heirloom. Spending my days outside moving will do more good for this chronic body than any pill a doctor could give me. I have spoken with others in my shoes who have done this very thing and you know what? They are experiencing periods of remission. One lady told me that it seems like the longer she lives this way, the longer the periods of remission last. Her latest stretch of living pain free was seven months. Then Winter came and with it pain but not as severe as the year before.
Our bodies were built to heal IF we give them what they need to fight. I'm still in the fight. I'm in a horribly painful place at the moment but I have something to look forward to and that is what I want you to think about. We all know how high the suicide rate in FM patients is. The reason that I even wrote that last sentence is because of the utter desperation that I read in my feed this morning. A lot of people are barely hanging on while many more are white knuckling it to get through each moment. I'm in that place too. Hanging on by my fingernails. But damn it, hang on! Find something to look forward to. If, like me, it's a project in the Spring, then you have to hold on to see it through. Make a plan. Then make it bigger. It needs to be something that excites you. Even if you think that your body would not allow you to do whatever your plan is right now, plan it anyway. Then work on your body until it isn't such a struggle to reach your goal. Don't let anyone give you permission to give up. That kind of permission abounds in FM communities and it will harm you in ways that you may not recover from.
I am not going to tell you that I am little Miss Polly Perfect when it comes to handling this extremely complicated disease. I am not going to tell you that I have all of the answers or even that I have some of them. I will tell you what works for me and what doesn't and I will tell you where to go to start taking your life back. One of my friends is one of those encouragers that I was talking about. The reason she is my friend is because she is not fake. She won't ask you to do something that she isn't all ready doing herself. She's paddling this FM boat too and what's more, she is writing a book on how to handle FM in a common sense, take your life back way, that you will see on the best seller list when she is finished with it. She has the same struggles as the rest of us. She's just handling them with more class than I am at the moment. :)
If you are not in the 'I'm sick of facebook' mood that I am in, look up The Fibromyalgia Five Minute Fitness Challenge. It's five minutes of gentle movement to get you started. My friend admins the page. Her name is Tanya. If you can't handle five, then start with three minutes. You have to start taking back the pieces of your life at some point. Now seems like as good a time as any.
While you go look up the page, I am going to push through and cook dinner for the kids. Hopefully, the pain will die down and I'll be in a better mood tomorrow. That's something else you need to know. You are allowed to have a bad day. You're even allowed to have two. Feel what you're feeling. Ask yourself why you are feeling that way and what you can do to help yourself. Don't be embarrassed to reach out. There are plenty of us who 'get it'. Send me a friend request or go to someone who understands what you are dealing with. You are not in this alone, though most days it feels alone. I'm here. I have a group of very smart, caring women, all with FM who would be there for you too. If you need to reach out your hand, one or all of us will grab it and pull you up.
Okay. Now, I'm taking my grumpy self to the kitchen. I love you.
Sunday, January 11, 2015
Saturday, January 10, 2015
A Word To Aspiring Writers
This is not going to be a Pinterest Challenge post, though I am still doing the challenge and enjoying it immensely. This post has to do with another very important part of my life - writing.
I have been writing since childhood. I was first published in a poetry anthology at nine years old. Writing has afforded me a way to work through problems and emotions as well as, to get the stories out of my mind in order to make room for the others that are fighting for attention. It has also given me a reason to research all of the things that I am curious about. It is an important part of my little world and one that I happen to know is an important part of the lives of many of my friends.
If you are an aspiring writer and are looking for a way to earn a living writing, I want to give you some advice. That advice is, know your worth! This morning I was rather hatefully accused of being 'too good' to write for certain websites. My reply? "Damn right I am!" You are too. Let me explain....
If you have never been published online or in print and you want to earn a living writing, then you have to gain some experience in order to be able to show a potential client that you know your stuff. For most new writers, that means content mills. There are thousands of web sites that claim that they are looking for writers and will pay you to write articles for their clients. Avoid those places like the plague! They are not worth your talent or the inevitable time you will spend banging your head against the wall wondering why you can't earn enough to pay your bills.
Content mills will offer you a penny per word. Most articles are between 400 and 500 words. BUT, many content mills will offer you less than a penny per word. Those unscrupulous sites want a 400 word article for two dollars. Here is what you may not know when you are starting out, those sites are receiving twenty dollars or more for your work while you are receiving pennies. They turn out articles with lightening speed for various clients and while they are making loads of cash, you can't even buy cat food.
Most of those articles are illegible because the 'writers' do not have a firm grasp on the English language and have never found the spell check button. Punctuation has become unimportant to many content mills and as a result, people like me are called in to re-write entire web sites. It's a pain but you'd better bet they are going to pay me for it.
If someone tells you that it is a good idea to work for a content mill -because, you know, writers have to 'pay their dues' A.K.A. starve until their name is recognized on the header - think of this; What did you have to do to earn that penny? Before you can put down the first word of your article, you had to apply to the website, create an account, write no less than three 'sample articles' if you had no links to provide to your previous work. Then you had to wait for an acceptance email, have a list of articles assigned to you and research the article that you are writing. How much of your valuable time did that take? You haven't even put down the first word of your article yet. Isn't that worth more than a penny?
Some content mills are even worse. I was asked to write content for the web site of an incredibly popular band. In fact, I am a fan of their music. Though the money was good, when I asked what I would be writing, I was given a list of reputable websites and told to troll those sites, 'borrow' their most popular articles (the ones with the most comments), re-write them to look like they had originally come from the band website and publish them under my name. There was a disclaimer on the site that included the line - we are in no way responsible for the articles that our writers provide. WHAT?!!? If you know me -and I hope that you do by now, then you know that I turned the job down flat. Money is not a good enough reason to plagiarize another writers work and ruin your name before you even get your writing career off the ground. If it sounds shady, it is.
Most posts like this one will give you advice on what to stay away from but will not point you in a direction that will help you get started. I'm not going to do that to you. When you first start writing online for payment, you are not going to get rich quick. In fact, keep your day job. If you are a person who stays at home, for what ever reason, (raising children, disability, illness) you will be able to devote more time to learning the ropes so that you can get your career off the ground faster.
First and foremost - Spelling, punctuation, proper grammar and fact checking are paramount! I can not stress enough how important those four things are if you want to be taken seriously. While some slang in a piece of writing may add color to the work, most of your work needs to be spot on. Here is an example of something I recently saw in an article from a content mill. I would have thrown this article out immediately had I been the editor; 'Maddie got all flustrated because her cousin bill went down the slope widout her.' This made my left eye twitch when I read it. Why is this sentence a problem?
NEVER write in text speech. Ever. It's immature and makes you look illiterate. Save 'text speak' for texting. 'Flustrated' is not a word. You can be 'flustered' or you can be 'frustrated'. This is what I mean when I say to know the English language. The word 'bill' should have been capitalized. 'Bill' is a proper noun. 'Widout' is a fine example of why you should use spell check and never write in text speech. What I am trying to tell you is this, write your articles as though your career depends on it. It does. Articles that are written properly get noticed, which means that you get noticed and will get the best writing gigs.
Learn SEO. SEO means Search Engine Optimized. Put simply, it means that when you write an article, put keywords in several places within that article so that when someone is searching for a specific topic, your article will be displayed by the search engine. Be mindful of how you use keywords. I have read tons of articles that are so SEO laden that the article makes no sense. The writer just wanted to make sure the piece was pulled when a search term was requested. Use your keywords in a way that make sense within the body of the article. Otherwise, you come off looking like an amateur and no legitimate SEO content offers will come your way.
Now, where do you start if you are trying to break in to the paid writing world? I have a few examples for you and one is a content mill but I will explain that in a moment. If you have never been published, I suggest that you look for what is trending on any major search engine home page. Yahoo and Google both have a 'trending' section on the right hand side of their respective home pages. Choose five topics, research them from as many angles as you can think of for different perspectives and then write an article on each of no less than 400 hundred words but no more than 500 words. Polish those articles until they shine and put them away to be used as sample articles. I often do this just to stay sharp so that my writing and research skills remain strong.
Yahoo offers paid article writing. This is the content mill that I wanted to explain to you. The reason that I include Yahoo on my list of places to start is because it is a good place to begin to sharpen your skills. The payment per article is low but it is much better than other content mills and there are three benefits to writing for them. One: They have an editorial team that will not accept articles that are full of errors. Two: You will receive residual income for your articles. Meaning, once published, you will continue to receive a small income for every person who reads your article after your initial payment. For example, You received five dollars for a 400 word article but thirty days later, you received another small amount per one thousand people who have read your article. You will continue to receive those small payments for as long as your article is still being read. I have an article on Yahoo that has been read 178,000+ times over the past three years. It isn't a lot of money but it does add up. Three: The more articles you write for Yahoo and the more popular you become with their readers, the more money you will be offered up front for your work.
http://www.writersdigest.com is, in my opinion, a fantastic place to find legitimate work. Not only will you be able to find gigs that pay well but you will also find thousands of articles that will help you to hone your skills as a writer and as a business owner. Make no mistake about it, writing for payment is a business. You must treat it as such so that you can do what you love yet still pay the bills.
http://www.wahm.com WAHM stands for 'Work At Home Mom'. They too, have a job board. Their job board is not just for writers, though they do post quite a few writing gigs. The site offers advice and direction for anyone wanting to stay at home and earn a living. If writing isn't enough to pay the bills yet, you can apply at one of the call centers that route calls to your home. Alpine Access and West At Home are both legitimate call centers who use home workers rather than massive call centers to take orders for everything from infomercials to The Home Shopping Network. I have worked for West during writing dry spells and recommend it to anyone needing a legitimate job.
Blogging. I have yet to monetize this blog though I am strongly considering it. Once your blog has gained popularity, you can sign up for Google AdSense. You do not have to fill your blog with ads, rather, you will be able to choose the ads that are relevant to your blog or your current posts. When a reader clicks on the ad, you receive a small payment. I have not done this yet because honestly, my blog goes in whatever direction the wind happens to take me that day but if you have a specialized blog, say crafting or cooking, you can place ads that are relevant to your blog.
Craigslist. So many writers overlook craigslist as a place to find legitimate writing work. Don't make that mistake. Under the 'Gigs' section there is a tab for writing. Check it often. There is a good chance that you will find work. Placing an ad on craigslist offering your services as a writer is free and, even better, local. If you deliver quality work on time, word spreads fast and before you know it, you will have local companies asking you to write articles and blog posts for them. $50.00 for a blog post has become the norm so do not be afraid to ask for what your work is worth.
I hope that I have been able to help you get started. Don't expect to have an inbox full of requests for your work over night. Writing has never been a get rich quick scheme but with some patience and a lot of love for your work, you will eventually be able to earn a living.
On an unrelated topic; Google has changed the cookie policy pertaining to leaving comments. I have attempted to work around the new policy (to have readers set their settings to accept third party cookies) but I am not certain if my little 'fix' has worked. Try to leave a comment, if you will. If the page still won't let you, let me know on my facebook page, please. Thank you!
I have been writing since childhood. I was first published in a poetry anthology at nine years old. Writing has afforded me a way to work through problems and emotions as well as, to get the stories out of my mind in order to make room for the others that are fighting for attention. It has also given me a reason to research all of the things that I am curious about. It is an important part of my little world and one that I happen to know is an important part of the lives of many of my friends.
If you are an aspiring writer and are looking for a way to earn a living writing, I want to give you some advice. That advice is, know your worth! This morning I was rather hatefully accused of being 'too good' to write for certain websites. My reply? "Damn right I am!" You are too. Let me explain....
If you have never been published online or in print and you want to earn a living writing, then you have to gain some experience in order to be able to show a potential client that you know your stuff. For most new writers, that means content mills. There are thousands of web sites that claim that they are looking for writers and will pay you to write articles for their clients. Avoid those places like the plague! They are not worth your talent or the inevitable time you will spend banging your head against the wall wondering why you can't earn enough to pay your bills.
Content mills will offer you a penny per word. Most articles are between 400 and 500 words. BUT, many content mills will offer you less than a penny per word. Those unscrupulous sites want a 400 word article for two dollars. Here is what you may not know when you are starting out, those sites are receiving twenty dollars or more for your work while you are receiving pennies. They turn out articles with lightening speed for various clients and while they are making loads of cash, you can't even buy cat food.
Most of those articles are illegible because the 'writers' do not have a firm grasp on the English language and have never found the spell check button. Punctuation has become unimportant to many content mills and as a result, people like me are called in to re-write entire web sites. It's a pain but you'd better bet they are going to pay me for it.
If someone tells you that it is a good idea to work for a content mill -because, you know, writers have to 'pay their dues' A.K.A. starve until their name is recognized on the header - think of this; What did you have to do to earn that penny? Before you can put down the first word of your article, you had to apply to the website, create an account, write no less than three 'sample articles' if you had no links to provide to your previous work. Then you had to wait for an acceptance email, have a list of articles assigned to you and research the article that you are writing. How much of your valuable time did that take? You haven't even put down the first word of your article yet. Isn't that worth more than a penny?
Some content mills are even worse. I was asked to write content for the web site of an incredibly popular band. In fact, I am a fan of their music. Though the money was good, when I asked what I would be writing, I was given a list of reputable websites and told to troll those sites, 'borrow' their most popular articles (the ones with the most comments), re-write them to look like they had originally come from the band website and publish them under my name. There was a disclaimer on the site that included the line - we are in no way responsible for the articles that our writers provide. WHAT?!!? If you know me -and I hope that you do by now, then you know that I turned the job down flat. Money is not a good enough reason to plagiarize another writers work and ruin your name before you even get your writing career off the ground. If it sounds shady, it is.
Most posts like this one will give you advice on what to stay away from but will not point you in a direction that will help you get started. I'm not going to do that to you. When you first start writing online for payment, you are not going to get rich quick. In fact, keep your day job. If you are a person who stays at home, for what ever reason, (raising children, disability, illness) you will be able to devote more time to learning the ropes so that you can get your career off the ground faster.
First and foremost - Spelling, punctuation, proper grammar and fact checking are paramount! I can not stress enough how important those four things are if you want to be taken seriously. While some slang in a piece of writing may add color to the work, most of your work needs to be spot on. Here is an example of something I recently saw in an article from a content mill. I would have thrown this article out immediately had I been the editor; 'Maddie got all flustrated because her cousin bill went down the slope widout her.' This made my left eye twitch when I read it. Why is this sentence a problem?
NEVER write in text speech. Ever. It's immature and makes you look illiterate. Save 'text speak' for texting. 'Flustrated' is not a word. You can be 'flustered' or you can be 'frustrated'. This is what I mean when I say to know the English language. The word 'bill' should have been capitalized. 'Bill' is a proper noun. 'Widout' is a fine example of why you should use spell check and never write in text speech. What I am trying to tell you is this, write your articles as though your career depends on it. It does. Articles that are written properly get noticed, which means that you get noticed and will get the best writing gigs.
Learn SEO. SEO means Search Engine Optimized. Put simply, it means that when you write an article, put keywords in several places within that article so that when someone is searching for a specific topic, your article will be displayed by the search engine. Be mindful of how you use keywords. I have read tons of articles that are so SEO laden that the article makes no sense. The writer just wanted to make sure the piece was pulled when a search term was requested. Use your keywords in a way that make sense within the body of the article. Otherwise, you come off looking like an amateur and no legitimate SEO content offers will come your way.
Now, where do you start if you are trying to break in to the paid writing world? I have a few examples for you and one is a content mill but I will explain that in a moment. If you have never been published, I suggest that you look for what is trending on any major search engine home page. Yahoo and Google both have a 'trending' section on the right hand side of their respective home pages. Choose five topics, research them from as many angles as you can think of for different perspectives and then write an article on each of no less than 400 hundred words but no more than 500 words. Polish those articles until they shine and put them away to be used as sample articles. I often do this just to stay sharp so that my writing and research skills remain strong.
Yahoo offers paid article writing. This is the content mill that I wanted to explain to you. The reason that I include Yahoo on my list of places to start is because it is a good place to begin to sharpen your skills. The payment per article is low but it is much better than other content mills and there are three benefits to writing for them. One: They have an editorial team that will not accept articles that are full of errors. Two: You will receive residual income for your articles. Meaning, once published, you will continue to receive a small income for every person who reads your article after your initial payment. For example, You received five dollars for a 400 word article but thirty days later, you received another small amount per one thousand people who have read your article. You will continue to receive those small payments for as long as your article is still being read. I have an article on Yahoo that has been read 178,000+ times over the past three years. It isn't a lot of money but it does add up. Three: The more articles you write for Yahoo and the more popular you become with their readers, the more money you will be offered up front for your work.
http://www.writersdigest.com is, in my opinion, a fantastic place to find legitimate work. Not only will you be able to find gigs that pay well but you will also find thousands of articles that will help you to hone your skills as a writer and as a business owner. Make no mistake about it, writing for payment is a business. You must treat it as such so that you can do what you love yet still pay the bills.
http://www.wahm.com WAHM stands for 'Work At Home Mom'. They too, have a job board. Their job board is not just for writers, though they do post quite a few writing gigs. The site offers advice and direction for anyone wanting to stay at home and earn a living. If writing isn't enough to pay the bills yet, you can apply at one of the call centers that route calls to your home. Alpine Access and West At Home are both legitimate call centers who use home workers rather than massive call centers to take orders for everything from infomercials to The Home Shopping Network. I have worked for West during writing dry spells and recommend it to anyone needing a legitimate job.
Blogging. I have yet to monetize this blog though I am strongly considering it. Once your blog has gained popularity, you can sign up for Google AdSense. You do not have to fill your blog with ads, rather, you will be able to choose the ads that are relevant to your blog or your current posts. When a reader clicks on the ad, you receive a small payment. I have not done this yet because honestly, my blog goes in whatever direction the wind happens to take me that day but if you have a specialized blog, say crafting or cooking, you can place ads that are relevant to your blog.
Craigslist. So many writers overlook craigslist as a place to find legitimate writing work. Don't make that mistake. Under the 'Gigs' section there is a tab for writing. Check it often. There is a good chance that you will find work. Placing an ad on craigslist offering your services as a writer is free and, even better, local. If you deliver quality work on time, word spreads fast and before you know it, you will have local companies asking you to write articles and blog posts for them. $50.00 for a blog post has become the norm so do not be afraid to ask for what your work is worth.
I hope that I have been able to help you get started. Don't expect to have an inbox full of requests for your work over night. Writing has never been a get rich quick scheme but with some patience and a lot of love for your work, you will eventually be able to earn a living.
On an unrelated topic; Google has changed the cookie policy pertaining to leaving comments. I have attempted to work around the new policy (to have readers set their settings to accept third party cookies) but I am not certain if my little 'fix' has worked. Try to leave a comment, if you will. If the page still won't let you, let me know on my facebook page, please. Thank you!
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
Polymer, Pinning and Pinterest
Change comes slowly. I would prefer that once I make my mind up to change something that it would happen quickly but forming new habits is not always an easy thing to do. It takes time. It takes even more time when your body is throwing a tantrum and refuses to cooperate.
In doing this Pinterest Challenge, I have decided that I love yoga and I love the new cleaning schedule, although it does need some tweaking. But I am not a fan of putting on make-up and trying a new hair style every single day. I like it once it is done. I just don't like doing it. My family likes it but I had to ask myself, 'Am I doing this for them or am I doing this for me?' Me won this time. The hair and make-up routine has been cut back to three to four days a week. I enjoy learning how to do new things with hair and make-up but if fibro is throwing a tantrum, I see no real benefit to standing in the bathroom fighting with my hair.
I feel a little guilty that my dining room table is littered with craft supplies for the various projects that I have been doing but there is good in that also. I am now getting quality time with my youngest daughter, who it turns out is quite the artist! She has fallen in love with polymer clay, paint and jewelry findings. She made her own necklace this week. It is a tiny dahlia flower mounted on a one inch square tile that she also made out of polymer clay. Before it went in the oven, I put holes large enough for jump rings through two of the petals so that she could put a chain on it after it was baked and painted. She normally will not wear jewelry. She isn't a girly girl but she will wear her new necklace because she made it herself and no one else in the world has one like it.
Sitting over piles of clay with her, teaching her, talking and laughing with her has been wonderful. She is an amazing young lady with a sarcastic streak that had tears rolling down my face from laughter. She is one of those teenagers that really didn't want to spend time with Mom -until now. If I had not taken on the challenge, I would have missed that.
I won't claim that everything is coming up roses. Chronic pain gets in the way of a lot of things and sometimes it seems like the moment I have a handle on the pain, some cosmic joker throws a cold front my way just to mess with me. That is when everything comes to a screeching halt until I can get my body back under control. It's just life. It isn't always pretty and rarely painless but it is beautiful.
This week I will be trying some of the new recipes that I have been pinning. It's cold so I'm thinking we'll start with the crockpot meals. I like those. No fuss meals are always my favorite as long as they are healthy.
When my daughter and I are finished with our current projects (they have to be baked again) I will post them here along with some other projects that I have been doing. I think that art and yoga have been my favorite parts of this challenge so far.
Even if you are not participating in The Pinterest Challenge, find something new to try this week. If it doesn't work out, at least you tried something new. If it does work out and you find something that you love or just makes your life easier, then let us know! It is never too late to learn something new.
In doing this Pinterest Challenge, I have decided that I love yoga and I love the new cleaning schedule, although it does need some tweaking. But I am not a fan of putting on make-up and trying a new hair style every single day. I like it once it is done. I just don't like doing it. My family likes it but I had to ask myself, 'Am I doing this for them or am I doing this for me?' Me won this time. The hair and make-up routine has been cut back to three to four days a week. I enjoy learning how to do new things with hair and make-up but if fibro is throwing a tantrum, I see no real benefit to standing in the bathroom fighting with my hair.
I feel a little guilty that my dining room table is littered with craft supplies for the various projects that I have been doing but there is good in that also. I am now getting quality time with my youngest daughter, who it turns out is quite the artist! She has fallen in love with polymer clay, paint and jewelry findings. She made her own necklace this week. It is a tiny dahlia flower mounted on a one inch square tile that she also made out of polymer clay. Before it went in the oven, I put holes large enough for jump rings through two of the petals so that she could put a chain on it after it was baked and painted. She normally will not wear jewelry. She isn't a girly girl but she will wear her new necklace because she made it herself and no one else in the world has one like it.
Sitting over piles of clay with her, teaching her, talking and laughing with her has been wonderful. She is an amazing young lady with a sarcastic streak that had tears rolling down my face from laughter. She is one of those teenagers that really didn't want to spend time with Mom -until now. If I had not taken on the challenge, I would have missed that.
I won't claim that everything is coming up roses. Chronic pain gets in the way of a lot of things and sometimes it seems like the moment I have a handle on the pain, some cosmic joker throws a cold front my way just to mess with me. That is when everything comes to a screeching halt until I can get my body back under control. It's just life. It isn't always pretty and rarely painless but it is beautiful.
This week I will be trying some of the new recipes that I have been pinning. It's cold so I'm thinking we'll start with the crockpot meals. I like those. No fuss meals are always my favorite as long as they are healthy.
When my daughter and I are finished with our current projects (they have to be baked again) I will post them here along with some other projects that I have been doing. I think that art and yoga have been my favorite parts of this challenge so far.
Even if you are not participating in The Pinterest Challenge, find something new to try this week. If it doesn't work out, at least you tried something new. If it does work out and you find something that you love or just makes your life easier, then let us know! It is never too late to learn something new.
Saturday, December 27, 2014
No Make-up Necessary
I am just coming to the tail end of a fifteen hour migraine. Man, I hate those things! Knowing that I need to rest but also knowing that there are fifty things that I need to do before my husband heads off to work tomorrow is an exercise in guilt. Guilt that I haven't finished 'the list' and guilt that I haven't taken care of me. I finally gave in to the blinding pain and laid down on the sofa. The last load of laundry can wait until morning.
I did manage to stick with the Pinterest Challenge though. No, I did not do hair and make-up. As I said before, I am doing this my way and my way says that if you would be eternally grateful to have that one side of your face go ahead and violently explode in order to get rid of the migraine, make-up is not necessary.
Instead, I worked on my challenge board. I didn't bother with recipes or cute outfits or organization. Instead, today was about fitness. Chronic bodies require exercise routines that are gentle yet effective. I read through so many blogs and websites that I lost count and pinned about a hundred yoga exercises as well as ballet exercises. Some I will need to work my way up to but they look like fun and stretching is not only good for chronic bodies but my cardiologist told me that the more flexible you are, the more flexible your arteries are, making them less prone to gather plaque. The list of benefits of doing yoga and ballet are endless, better posture and sleep being the two I am most interested in since I have such trouble reaching and maintaining R.E.M. sleep.
The down side of all that reading was that I ended up prolonging a migraine that should never have lasted fifteen hours. Had I just gone to sleep, or at least attempted to, it probably would have subsided much sooner. Stubbornness is not always my friend.
Keeping in line with my new cleaning schedule, I will clean the house for about two hours in the morning (believe me, that is less than half the time I spent with my previous schedule) then I will figure out which of the hundred or so exercises will make it to Monday's schedule and then the husband is off to work for the week and the rest of my day is open to spend some quality time with my oldest daughter before I have to take her back to college.
I am liking this new scheduling! Normally, I would spend the entire day cleaning (because once I get started I always find more to do) and I would have no free time until after the dinner dishes were done. It was only then that I could focus on what I WANT to do. If I took time off during the day, I would play catch up the following day. It was an exhausting cycle. If nothing else in this challenge works out I will still be glad that I did it because now I have a better way of cleaning that meets my high standards and saves me a boat load of time. The cleaning schedule stays.
For now I'm off to bed and if I drift off to sleep, maybe the remainder of this migraine will drift away too. If you are interested in The Pinterest Challenge, follow me on the site and we can exchange ideas. You'll find me under Rebecca Christman. Goodnight Y'all!
I did manage to stick with the Pinterest Challenge though. No, I did not do hair and make-up. As I said before, I am doing this my way and my way says that if you would be eternally grateful to have that one side of your face go ahead and violently explode in order to get rid of the migraine, make-up is not necessary.
Instead, I worked on my challenge board. I didn't bother with recipes or cute outfits or organization. Instead, today was about fitness. Chronic bodies require exercise routines that are gentle yet effective. I read through so many blogs and websites that I lost count and pinned about a hundred yoga exercises as well as ballet exercises. Some I will need to work my way up to but they look like fun and stretching is not only good for chronic bodies but my cardiologist told me that the more flexible you are, the more flexible your arteries are, making them less prone to gather plaque. The list of benefits of doing yoga and ballet are endless, better posture and sleep being the two I am most interested in since I have such trouble reaching and maintaining R.E.M. sleep.
The down side of all that reading was that I ended up prolonging a migraine that should never have lasted fifteen hours. Had I just gone to sleep, or at least attempted to, it probably would have subsided much sooner. Stubbornness is not always my friend.
Keeping in line with my new cleaning schedule, I will clean the house for about two hours in the morning (believe me, that is less than half the time I spent with my previous schedule) then I will figure out which of the hundred or so exercises will make it to Monday's schedule and then the husband is off to work for the week and the rest of my day is open to spend some quality time with my oldest daughter before I have to take her back to college.
I am liking this new scheduling! Normally, I would spend the entire day cleaning (because once I get started I always find more to do) and I would have no free time until after the dinner dishes were done. It was only then that I could focus on what I WANT to do. If I took time off during the day, I would play catch up the following day. It was an exhausting cycle. If nothing else in this challenge works out I will still be glad that I did it because now I have a better way of cleaning that meets my high standards and saves me a boat load of time. The cleaning schedule stays.
For now I'm off to bed and if I drift off to sleep, maybe the remainder of this migraine will drift away too. If you are interested in The Pinterest Challenge, follow me on the site and we can exchange ideas. You'll find me under Rebecca Christman. Goodnight Y'all!
Friday, December 26, 2014
The Pinterest Challenge
My oldest daughter asked me if I had ever heard of The Pinterest Challenge. The what? What is this challenge for the sparkly website that I love so much? That lovely site where I find so much inspiration and stand in awe of the creativity that we humans posses. There is a challenge? Where do I find this unicorn?
After some research, I discovered that for many people, Pinterest is viewed in a negative light. I had no idea! There seems to be a stereotype for people like me who adore Pinterest. Why do we do that? Why do we classify people based on what they like or dislike if it doesn't jive with what we like or dislike? Here is what I found out; For many people, Pinterest is for middle class white women who strive to be Martha Stewart, June Cleaver and Cindy Crawford all rolled in into one perfect white girl. Apparently, we kill ourselves trying to follow every bit of advice on Pinterest in our ridiculous quest for perfection. We strive to be the perfect home maker, the perfect Mother, the perfect wife, the perfect cook with the perfectly cleaned and organized home, while we look like a super model trying to do it all. There are women who claim that they have what is called 'Pinterest anxiety' and are suffering from low self worth because they can not accomplish all that is Pinterest. Seriously? Are you kidding me?
To prove just how wretched they feel, they have decided to challenge themselves by building 'Challenge boards' and following all of the most popular advice Pinterest has to offer, for one week. After they have documented what worked for them and what they feel they failed at, they point to those perceived failures and say, "See? I told you so! This is why I am unhappy!"
I read through several of these blogs with my jaw in my lap. If you set out to prove that you will fail, then guess what? You're gonna fail. There are over one BILLION posts on Pinterest. Did you catch that number? The reason for such a massive number is because we are all interested in different things. Why torture yourself with something you are not interested in trying?
I started thinking about the negative aspect of this challenge and decided to turn it around. If you feel stuck in a rut or are chronically ill, like I am, and feel like you aren't accomplishing anything, wouldn't it make sense to schedule time throughout the day to do those things that never seem to get done?
I am doing The Pinterest Challenge 2.0 -A.K.A 'my version'. I am building (it's ongoing) a board filled with the things that I love and want to accomplish -or at the very least, try. I am scheduling my day based on my daily board. For instance, I never bother to look put together anymore. I am usually in so much pain that I just do not care how I look. I also found a daily cleaning list that trumps my routine. It covers everything that I normally do plus a few extras but it does it more efficiently, freeing up my time for things I seriously need to get done. I scheduled time for those things too. Like, daily exercise, writing my book, finishing my art pieces and finding the time to learn to do something new each week. My challenge is based on my likes, dislikes and what I am curious to learn. Also, the one week challenge just isn't going to cut it for me. I refuse to try something so structured for only one week so that I can call myself a failure before I have completed the learning curve. My challenge is 100 days. By then, the things that work will be habit and the things that don't will have been dropped from the schedule.
I am on day five of this challenge. So far, I have only seen positives. For the past four days, I get up and actually put myself together after yoga. I'm new to yoga and not very good yet but even though I look silly doing it, I feel better after. Getting dressed with a quick hair and make-up session has so far, made me feel good about myself. I feel like I am showing up to my life ready to go.
The new cleaning routine has been a good thing, especially since yesterday was Christmas and my old way would have had me in melt down mode by noon with all of the cooking and cleaning that needed to be done.
What will all of this do for me, really? Do I expect to be 'the perfect white girl' at the end of this? Uh...no. What is perfect anyway? I do hope to have some new habits that benefit my life rather than hinder it. I hope to learn some new things and complete a lot of things but I also hope to show other women - no matter what your race because the whole 'white girl' aspect of this really got on my nerves - that when you challenge yourself, you should do it in a way that is helpful to you. If you fail at something, so what? You tried, which is more than what a lot of people can claim. You had the moxy to go out there and try to make your life better and at the very least (if you want to be negative about it) you learned what not to do.
Judging your self worth based on what you think other people can or can not do is never helpful. My advice, if you are up for The Pinterest Challenge, do it on your terms. Do it in a way that will benefit your life in the long run. Never set out to fail unless that is part of your learning process - and then, that can't even be called a failure because you learned from it. We're too hard on ourselves. I'm not going to make myself crazier by constantly comparing myself to other women.
I will keep you updated as I go. For now, I am going to head out with my family and enjoy the day. I have made time for that when normally I would be stressing about what needs to be done. The new cleaning schedule has allowed me to lay that stress down.
If you decide to take on the challenge, let me know. We could swap advice on what works for us as we navigate forming new, fun, healthy habits! That's all for now. I'm out the door!
After some research, I discovered that for many people, Pinterest is viewed in a negative light. I had no idea! There seems to be a stereotype for people like me who adore Pinterest. Why do we do that? Why do we classify people based on what they like or dislike if it doesn't jive with what we like or dislike? Here is what I found out; For many people, Pinterest is for middle class white women who strive to be Martha Stewart, June Cleaver and Cindy Crawford all rolled in into one perfect white girl. Apparently, we kill ourselves trying to follow every bit of advice on Pinterest in our ridiculous quest for perfection. We strive to be the perfect home maker, the perfect Mother, the perfect wife, the perfect cook with the perfectly cleaned and organized home, while we look like a super model trying to do it all. There are women who claim that they have what is called 'Pinterest anxiety' and are suffering from low self worth because they can not accomplish all that is Pinterest. Seriously? Are you kidding me?
To prove just how wretched they feel, they have decided to challenge themselves by building 'Challenge boards' and following all of the most popular advice Pinterest has to offer, for one week. After they have documented what worked for them and what they feel they failed at, they point to those perceived failures and say, "See? I told you so! This is why I am unhappy!"
I read through several of these blogs with my jaw in my lap. If you set out to prove that you will fail, then guess what? You're gonna fail. There are over one BILLION posts on Pinterest. Did you catch that number? The reason for such a massive number is because we are all interested in different things. Why torture yourself with something you are not interested in trying?
I started thinking about the negative aspect of this challenge and decided to turn it around. If you feel stuck in a rut or are chronically ill, like I am, and feel like you aren't accomplishing anything, wouldn't it make sense to schedule time throughout the day to do those things that never seem to get done?
I am doing The Pinterest Challenge 2.0 -A.K.A 'my version'. I am building (it's ongoing) a board filled with the things that I love and want to accomplish -or at the very least, try. I am scheduling my day based on my daily board. For instance, I never bother to look put together anymore. I am usually in so much pain that I just do not care how I look. I also found a daily cleaning list that trumps my routine. It covers everything that I normally do plus a few extras but it does it more efficiently, freeing up my time for things I seriously need to get done. I scheduled time for those things too. Like, daily exercise, writing my book, finishing my art pieces and finding the time to learn to do something new each week. My challenge is based on my likes, dislikes and what I am curious to learn. Also, the one week challenge just isn't going to cut it for me. I refuse to try something so structured for only one week so that I can call myself a failure before I have completed the learning curve. My challenge is 100 days. By then, the things that work will be habit and the things that don't will have been dropped from the schedule.
I am on day five of this challenge. So far, I have only seen positives. For the past four days, I get up and actually put myself together after yoga. I'm new to yoga and not very good yet but even though I look silly doing it, I feel better after. Getting dressed with a quick hair and make-up session has so far, made me feel good about myself. I feel like I am showing up to my life ready to go.
The new cleaning routine has been a good thing, especially since yesterday was Christmas and my old way would have had me in melt down mode by noon with all of the cooking and cleaning that needed to be done.
What will all of this do for me, really? Do I expect to be 'the perfect white girl' at the end of this? Uh...no. What is perfect anyway? I do hope to have some new habits that benefit my life rather than hinder it. I hope to learn some new things and complete a lot of things but I also hope to show other women - no matter what your race because the whole 'white girl' aspect of this really got on my nerves - that when you challenge yourself, you should do it in a way that is helpful to you. If you fail at something, so what? You tried, which is more than what a lot of people can claim. You had the moxy to go out there and try to make your life better and at the very least (if you want to be negative about it) you learned what not to do.
Judging your self worth based on what you think other people can or can not do is never helpful. My advice, if you are up for The Pinterest Challenge, do it on your terms. Do it in a way that will benefit your life in the long run. Never set out to fail unless that is part of your learning process - and then, that can't even be called a failure because you learned from it. We're too hard on ourselves. I'm not going to make myself crazier by constantly comparing myself to other women.
I will keep you updated as I go. For now, I am going to head out with my family and enjoy the day. I have made time for that when normally I would be stressing about what needs to be done. The new cleaning schedule has allowed me to lay that stress down.
If you decide to take on the challenge, let me know. We could swap advice on what works for us as we navigate forming new, fun, healthy habits! That's all for now. I'm out the door!
Thursday, December 18, 2014
It's Me Again, Margaret.
I am amazed that anyone is still reading this blog. I owe you an apology. I have been inconsistent in keeping up with it for quite a while now. Life has just been so....chaotic is a really great word.
Between fighting with Fibro, CMP and CFS, I usually have around twenty projects going at any given time but I have also had a great many major life changes and epiphanies hit me one right after another. I have been waiting for things to slow down but since they never do, I decided that making the time to be here with you has to be a priority.
This was the first year that I participated in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). I finished the word count challenge but not the book. November is not the ideal time to sit down and write an entire novel but I'm over fifty thousand words in, so it will keep until after Christmas.
Everyone makes New Year Resolutions. I'm not going to do that. I mean, really, who keeps those things anyway? I have goals that I am working toward but I can't say that one has to be done by this date or that date. I intend to make some major changes that will surprise some people but others will just be relieved that I finally got on with it.
I do want my gym membership back. I loved the gym. Rejoining is one of my goals. Finishing the book is another. Honestly though, just finding that place where I am more happy than unhappy is my main goal. If that means shedding certain people from my world then that is what will have to happen. I feel so drained by the toxic people around me. Their constant negativity helps to keep me in a state of flare that I can not escape as long as they are a part of my day to day life.
Something that I have been doing for a while now -and excites me to no end - is I have been taking the Bible back to it's original translation and finding out what it meant when it was written. Even in the King James version, there are some bad translations. It wasn't intentional. We're human. It happens. But being able to read it the way it was meant to be read has been a real eye opener....and has caused me to resent the hell out of the church. If you ever read it, you'll understand why. I'm working on that too. I'm human. Aggravation and anger are understandable, and forgivable.
Like most of the church, I trusted that the various preachers in my journey knew what they were talking about. They didn't. So then I got mad at myself for doing what I know better than to do -trusting the word of other people without checking the facts. My fault. I'm a little ticked off that lies are being taught in church...that's a lie...I'm straight up pissed off about the lies being taught in church but isn't it my own fault for not checking it out? Yup! I'm correcting it in my own life now and I'm enjoying the heck out of it! I'm such a curious person by nature, I LOVE learning. Love it! I like real. I like authentic. We live in such a fake world, it's refreshing to peal back the layers and find what is real.
I don't know where this next year will take me. I do know that major changes are on the way. This is a short life. Far too short to live it in a way that doesn't bring you happiness. I'm chasing my happy. There will be dark days. There always are, but I'm ready for them. Now, when this flu goes away, I'll be up and running again. I will take you with me. If you have stuck with me this far, then anything I am going to do won't surprise you a bit. I love you for that.
Between fighting with Fibro, CMP and CFS, I usually have around twenty projects going at any given time but I have also had a great many major life changes and epiphanies hit me one right after another. I have been waiting for things to slow down but since they never do, I decided that making the time to be here with you has to be a priority.
This was the first year that I participated in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). I finished the word count challenge but not the book. November is not the ideal time to sit down and write an entire novel but I'm over fifty thousand words in, so it will keep until after Christmas.
Everyone makes New Year Resolutions. I'm not going to do that. I mean, really, who keeps those things anyway? I have goals that I am working toward but I can't say that one has to be done by this date or that date. I intend to make some major changes that will surprise some people but others will just be relieved that I finally got on with it.
I do want my gym membership back. I loved the gym. Rejoining is one of my goals. Finishing the book is another. Honestly though, just finding that place where I am more happy than unhappy is my main goal. If that means shedding certain people from my world then that is what will have to happen. I feel so drained by the toxic people around me. Their constant negativity helps to keep me in a state of flare that I can not escape as long as they are a part of my day to day life.
Something that I have been doing for a while now -and excites me to no end - is I have been taking the Bible back to it's original translation and finding out what it meant when it was written. Even in the King James version, there are some bad translations. It wasn't intentional. We're human. It happens. But being able to read it the way it was meant to be read has been a real eye opener....and has caused me to resent the hell out of the church. If you ever read it, you'll understand why. I'm working on that too. I'm human. Aggravation and anger are understandable, and forgivable.
Like most of the church, I trusted that the various preachers in my journey knew what they were talking about. They didn't. So then I got mad at myself for doing what I know better than to do -trusting the word of other people without checking the facts. My fault. I'm a little ticked off that lies are being taught in church...that's a lie...I'm straight up pissed off about the lies being taught in church but isn't it my own fault for not checking it out? Yup! I'm correcting it in my own life now and I'm enjoying the heck out of it! I'm such a curious person by nature, I LOVE learning. Love it! I like real. I like authentic. We live in such a fake world, it's refreshing to peal back the layers and find what is real.
I don't know where this next year will take me. I do know that major changes are on the way. This is a short life. Far too short to live it in a way that doesn't bring you happiness. I'm chasing my happy. There will be dark days. There always are, but I'm ready for them. Now, when this flu goes away, I'll be up and running again. I will take you with me. If you have stuck with me this far, then anything I am going to do won't surprise you a bit. I love you for that.
Friday, March 28, 2014
What Is A Christian?
Today has been a tough one. I received some news that set me back on my heels and while I knew it was going to come eventually, I was unprepared for how hard and how fast it hit. I did what I always do. I ran to God.
I have been talking to God since I was seven years old. I am long past the point that I mistake His voice for the chatter in my own head. You talk to someone long enough, you know when they are speaking back to you. I can honestly say that I am not a typical Christian. I disregard the rules that men have put in place over the centuries in order to gain more power and keep the people in line with what they want religion to look like at any given time. Those rules change constantly depending on who ever is in power at the moment. I completely ignore the opinions that are spouted from the pulpit if that opinion can not be backed up by the word of God. If any of us are honest even the tiniest bit, you have to read much more than the Bible in order to get the full scope of what God wanted us to know. The Catholics corrupted The Word. Nero corrupted The Word. The Romans and even the Christians have all had a part in corrupting what we were meant to understand. So now, If you truly want to know The Word, you not only have to study the Bible but also The Dead Sea Scrolls, The Apocrypha, The Codex and the independent writings of the Apostles just to name a few and you must do it in their original languages because everything loses vital meaning in translation.
All of this study, which I find immensely interesting, just boils down to one thing. LOVE. Gods laws are written on every person's heart. Love is what He wants from us. To love Him and to love each other. It's too bad that we don't get to see much of that anymore.
There is a big, fat difference between being a religious person and being a Christian. I hate religion with a neon purple passion. Religious people think that if they show up at church and look pious and follow the rules that men have set forth, then it is perfectly acceptable to be judgmental of another person for whatever reason they feel like, all the while smiling to your face, hugging your neck and then whispering behind your back. God bless them in their stupidity. They sorely need it.
I feel sorry for religious people because they believe every word a Pastor says without searching it out for themselves. Pastors are human beings and many of them make mistakes. That is understandable, but to not find out the truth for yourself doesn't make it the Pastor's fault when you screw up majorly because you didn't educate yourself.
I say all of this for a very good reason. The news that knocked me backward today was about my health. I am now facing a major battle because when I was a child, the people around me who claimed to be Christians, damaged my body in ways that now only God can heal. These are people who were not really Christians. They just claimed the title. What they actually were was religious. Fake Christians. A Deacon of the church who was a major player in the KKK. A group of relatives who were at every church function and put on 'the perfect family' act for the other religious people but behind closed doors did and allowed to be done unspeakable things to us -the children. Those people are still in the church and yet they encourage suicide to any young adult in the family who does not present 'the perfect family' act to the rest of the religious idiots. The message sent out is "If you don't live like us, then maybe you should think about not living anymore because we don't want people to think badly of the family. We have an image to maintain."
This evening, I read a post on facebook from someone who said that they had stopped listening to a certain Pastor after he had said that gay people go to Heaven. Religion is exactly what I saw in that judgmental statement. In no part of Gods word does it say that gay people go to Hell. In fact, The Bible clearly states that there is but ONE unforgivable sin and none of us are capable of committing that sin yet. Religion is a funny, judgmental, hateful thing and I truly despise it. You can not have too many blessings in the form of money or nice cars or clothing or you must somehow be corrupt nor can you have too little or you must have committed some sin that is impeding your blessings. You must be just like every other religious person to be a 'Christian'.
But a real Christian thinks for themselves. That person seeks out Gods word and asks for Gods help in gleaning understanding. A true Christian will see the sin and pray for the sinner privately rather than gossiping about that person. They do good for others without shouting it out for the world to hear so others will praise them for their goodness. A true Christian loves honestly and helps quietly. They take no pleasure in making others feel small because they prefer to offer a hand to help that person back to their feet.
Today, after realizing the full effect of what religious people have done to me, I confronted each and every one of them and proceeded to purge every religious person from my life. That meant that all but two members of my extended family had to go. Permanently. I'm ok with that.
I don't know what God's plan is for me but I do know that it does not include religion. I am a daughter of The King. I deserve better than religion and the damage it brings. I am not perfect but each new day, I do my best to be better than the day before and I do nothing without my Father. I am a Christian. I follow Christ. That's the difference.
I have been talking to God since I was seven years old. I am long past the point that I mistake His voice for the chatter in my own head. You talk to someone long enough, you know when they are speaking back to you. I can honestly say that I am not a typical Christian. I disregard the rules that men have put in place over the centuries in order to gain more power and keep the people in line with what they want religion to look like at any given time. Those rules change constantly depending on who ever is in power at the moment. I completely ignore the opinions that are spouted from the pulpit if that opinion can not be backed up by the word of God. If any of us are honest even the tiniest bit, you have to read much more than the Bible in order to get the full scope of what God wanted us to know. The Catholics corrupted The Word. Nero corrupted The Word. The Romans and even the Christians have all had a part in corrupting what we were meant to understand. So now, If you truly want to know The Word, you not only have to study the Bible but also The Dead Sea Scrolls, The Apocrypha, The Codex and the independent writings of the Apostles just to name a few and you must do it in their original languages because everything loses vital meaning in translation.
All of this study, which I find immensely interesting, just boils down to one thing. LOVE. Gods laws are written on every person's heart. Love is what He wants from us. To love Him and to love each other. It's too bad that we don't get to see much of that anymore.
There is a big, fat difference between being a religious person and being a Christian. I hate religion with a neon purple passion. Religious people think that if they show up at church and look pious and follow the rules that men have set forth, then it is perfectly acceptable to be judgmental of another person for whatever reason they feel like, all the while smiling to your face, hugging your neck and then whispering behind your back. God bless them in their stupidity. They sorely need it.
I feel sorry for religious people because they believe every word a Pastor says without searching it out for themselves. Pastors are human beings and many of them make mistakes. That is understandable, but to not find out the truth for yourself doesn't make it the Pastor's fault when you screw up majorly because you didn't educate yourself.
I say all of this for a very good reason. The news that knocked me backward today was about my health. I am now facing a major battle because when I was a child, the people around me who claimed to be Christians, damaged my body in ways that now only God can heal. These are people who were not really Christians. They just claimed the title. What they actually were was religious. Fake Christians. A Deacon of the church who was a major player in the KKK. A group of relatives who were at every church function and put on 'the perfect family' act for the other religious people but behind closed doors did and allowed to be done unspeakable things to us -the children. Those people are still in the church and yet they encourage suicide to any young adult in the family who does not present 'the perfect family' act to the rest of the religious idiots. The message sent out is "If you don't live like us, then maybe you should think about not living anymore because we don't want people to think badly of the family. We have an image to maintain."
This evening, I read a post on facebook from someone who said that they had stopped listening to a certain Pastor after he had said that gay people go to Heaven. Religion is exactly what I saw in that judgmental statement. In no part of Gods word does it say that gay people go to Hell. In fact, The Bible clearly states that there is but ONE unforgivable sin and none of us are capable of committing that sin yet. Religion is a funny, judgmental, hateful thing and I truly despise it. You can not have too many blessings in the form of money or nice cars or clothing or you must somehow be corrupt nor can you have too little or you must have committed some sin that is impeding your blessings. You must be just like every other religious person to be a 'Christian'.
But a real Christian thinks for themselves. That person seeks out Gods word and asks for Gods help in gleaning understanding. A true Christian will see the sin and pray for the sinner privately rather than gossiping about that person. They do good for others without shouting it out for the world to hear so others will praise them for their goodness. A true Christian loves honestly and helps quietly. They take no pleasure in making others feel small because they prefer to offer a hand to help that person back to their feet.
Today, after realizing the full effect of what religious people have done to me, I confronted each and every one of them and proceeded to purge every religious person from my life. That meant that all but two members of my extended family had to go. Permanently. I'm ok with that.
I don't know what God's plan is for me but I do know that it does not include religion. I am a daughter of The King. I deserve better than religion and the damage it brings. I am not perfect but each new day, I do my best to be better than the day before and I do nothing without my Father. I am a Christian. I follow Christ. That's the difference.
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